Being Home

All the foreign exchange students in Italy who came with AFS had to meet up again in Rome on July 6th. So I had 3 weeks to say my goodbyes and wrap up my life in Porto San Giorgio. Those 3 weeks were really difficult. I had a lot of goodbye dinners with people, I went out every night, I spent my days on the beach... I tried to make the most of it. But it was sad. Especially because Ludo wasn't there the last week. She went on her own cultural exchange to Poland :( 

My class gave me a big Italian flag covered in handprints, my favorite Italian lyrics, and stupid things I would say. Ludo gave me a Jovanotti CD and a letter that always makes me cry. Borra gave me a Lumineer's CD (his favorite band that we always listen to in his car) and a phone case that says "what do you want" with the classic thumb glued to the pointer and middle finger gesture. I gave Ludo my old yearbook and some American coins. I also got a lot of bracelets and letters that will stay with me forever. And on my last day, I bottled some sand that's currently sitting in a bottle on my bookshelf.

My very last morning in PSG - July 6th - was wonderful. My host dad and I left the house at 5:30 am on his motorcycle to see the sunrise at Torre di Palme - a tiny, geographically elevated town with a population of 90. Then we drove through my town's center so I could say goodbye. My host parents gave me a coffee maker, Italian coffee, and 2 tiny little cups to drink it from. It was a beautiful birthday present. 

I don't remember exactly what time I left on the bus, but I think it was around 10:30 am. I kind of always hate these AFS events... but at least it was only for the night. We woke up at 4am to go to the airport and then we flew to Zurich and finally JFK. My mom, brother, and Ally greeted me with a salad from Sweetgreen. It was incredibly sweet. I guess there's always that initial moment of arrival that kind of makes everything happy and easy.

But it leaves behind this numbness that I've been trying to cope with for the past 2 weeks.

In that time I've watched every episode of Mad Men, Skyped with my host family, distributed presents, started deciding who is bringing what with my Pitt roommate, and cooked pasta for my mom.

I have not seen my sister who is attending a program at RISD, visited my grandparents in CT or Bala Cynwyd, unpacked my box of winter clothes that arrived a week ago, finished my senior project (and therefore received my diploma), gone to Target or Bed Bath & Beyond for college (the American mentality towards consumerism still sickens me), or cracked open any of my Italian books. But I've thought about all these things. A lot.. and I've decided with less than a month until PittStart, I should really get on it. 

So I'm trying to get things together. It's painful because I feel like I worked so hard to learn a different language and culture for nothing. My life was there and now it feels like it's gone. It feels horrible to not be able to be with people that I love and care about.

I guess I experienced a little bit of this when I left America, but I always knew that I'd see everyone again. I know that someday I will return to Italy but there isn't a date set. It's uncertain.

Rome part 1 (June 23rd - 27th)

The last month of my life has been so hectic that I have barely had a minute for reflection. I wanted to take this opportunity to look back on the last weeks of my time in Italy and how I've been since returning to America.

After Cervia with AFS, Ludo and I went to Rome with her aunt. It's a 3 and 1/2 hour drive from Porto San Giorgio. We left on a Sunday night and spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday exploring the city. During the day, it was only the 2 of us because her aunt works as a journalist. At night, we had dinner together. We took the bus and metro everyday to the center of Rome where we saw all the touristy things.

Monday
Piazza del Popolo, Pinician Hill, Piazza del Spagna, twin churches, Via del Corso (Rome's equiv of NYC 5th Ave), Via Coudotti, Altare della Patria, Fontana di Trevi (where we ate the bessssssssst pizza), Fori Imperiali, Colosseo, Palazzo Doria Pamphilj, Palazzo Montecitorio, Palazzo del Quirinale, Palazzo Venezia, Piazza Venezia

Dinner: spaghetti

Tuesday
Vaticano, Sistine Chapel, Cupola (we bought matching floor length skirts to get in), Piazza Navona (it's a fountain with 4 statues representing different rivers done by Bernini), Campo di Fuori, Arapacis Mausoleo, Via Cola Direnzo (we shopped a lot there), and we returned to Piazza del Popolo

Dinner: sushi

Wednesday
was just for shopping...

Dinner: an American themed restaurant which is basically just Tex Mex food

Ok an actual update

So last week I went to a 4 day AFS (the organization that I came to Italy with) camp in Cervia, which is about 2 hours north of PS. Giorgio. It was ok. There were students from all over the world: Honduras, Serbia, Bosnia, America (of course), San Domenico, Thailand, Japan, Argentina, and Brazil. That part was cool. But it wasn't cool that there was only one bathroom for 8 girls and that the day I came home (Sunday) there was a huge public transportation strike. In Italian, strike = sciopero. They happen all the time and it's really annoying.

Anyway I was supposed to get home at 5 and I ended up getting home at 9. And then we went to the disco so I was pretty dead on Monday.

What else

I wasn't too happy to be at the camp. It was pretty predictable. We had to talk about our feelings about going home and what we've learned and what we're taking from the experience. I would have preferred to sit on the beach all day and stay with my host sister and my friends. I have such limited time here (17 more days!) so I want to spend every moment with the people I actually care about... not strangers.

Also, everyone knew each other because there was an AFS camp in October but because I only came for 6 months, I wasn't there in October and I didn't know anyone. The food was horrible.... the activities were boring... etc.

But it did make me think about how precious my time here is and how sad I am to be going home. Ludo is going on a school trip the week I leave so we have to say goodbye to each other in 11 short days. We've made all kinds of plans for the future but I feel like I'm losing my sister and it's painful.

Truthfully, I am so scared to come home. I want to see my family, friends, & dog (obvs) but I'm afraid. I'm afraid to forget the people I've met and the things I've learned and the way I feel in this moment. I wish I could explain how I feel better... or even understand it, but I don't. When I think about coming home, I either feel numb or start crying so that's a positive sign that things will go well.

For me, the experience doesn't feel complete. My life here isn't finished. I wish I could do more. I don't know what it is I want to do but... just more. Live fuller. I don't know how, because I feel like I've been living pretty fully but I don't know. I somehow have regrets.

I always have regrets with every experience. I always want to do things a second time, to make sure I learned from my mistakes. But, of course, that's not possible.

So that's where I am right now. I think this post is more for me than anyone else but hopefully y'all got something out of it!!!!

Baci. Ciao.

Typical summer day in porto san giorgio

sleep until 1
lunch with mom & ludo to discuss previous night's events
beach until 8 to take the sun & play briscola http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Briscola
shower
eat dinner with entire fam
go out all night...chalet hop...sit in the car to stare at the stars...discoteca...watch our friends dj....fall asleep on the beach
repeat

La scuola e finita!

Finalmenteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I never have to go to high school again!

Except to get my diploma when I get home but that doesn't count. Ok. So what have I been doing since Saturday.

Going to the beach//staying out to all hours of the night. It's fantastic. Tomorrow I'm going to a waterpark with Ludo & all her friends. From Thursday morning until Sunday night I have to go to an AFS camp thing to talk about my experience and how to handle coming home etc.. I'm really annoyed because I only have like 3.5 weeks left and I want to spend them with my friends not with AFS but if I have to.. I have to.

Alright that's it for now. Love y'all. Ciao.

PSG's philharmonic orchestra + scoglio pasta

My Italian mom presented a concert on Sunday in PS. Giorgio!!!!!!!!

mammina's dressing room

Porto San Giorgio's theater

the ceiling of the theater is unique because (ok the sound operator explained to me in Italian so I'm not totally sure what it does) I think it used to heat the theater using light from the sun

it's the only one of it's kind in Italy

1/3 in Europe

and the oldest

more of the theater

Presenta Sabrina Capponi!!!!!

the orchestra

Ludo & mammina

:)

Elena is really a genius with my hair

flowers near the church

so gorgeous

scoglio pasta is buonissima

Saturday night

Love y'all

International Violin Competition!!!

Ok so two exciting, non-school related things happened this week.

1) On Wednesday I ate homemade pizza at Runa's house.

2) Last night, in Fermo, my host aunt MC'ed an international violin competition.

Gorgeous Fermo in the rain

Wednesday's tea time 

Runa's coffee

PS. Giorgio

Elena's creation

my favorite part of the whole book

last night during the competition - Ludo and I took an iced tea break

the Marche region philharmonic orchestra (1/15 in all of Italy)

Ludo & aunt Barbara

!!!!!!!! me

so famous // poised

the view from the back of the stage (after)

Ludo also took a video of me running around the stage rambling about America, but that's not for the public

PS Giorgio this evening

so

so

gorgeous

I REALLLLLLLLLY WISH I HAD TIME TO BLOG

But I don't.

The school is about to finish (2.5 weeks omg) and the teachers aren't stopping a minute before. Today I've been working nonstop for the past 5 hours. I studied English literature (Defoe, Swift, and Richardson), 200 vocab words from Gatsby, Italian tutoring homework (imperfect, direct pronouns, possessive pronouns), wrote a summary of Franz Kafka's Letter to His Father (for German class). And even thought it's only 8 pm and we haven't had dinner yet (my parents aren't even home from work), I'm ready to fall asleep to an episode of Grey's.

But I really need to practice reading for German because I still have difficult pronouncing some words.

I promise I'll provide a real update with pictures and everything as soon as I get the chance.

OH also big shout out to Elena for always editing my Italian writing & my adorable siblings for their emails last night. Love y'all. Ciao.

THE GREAT GATSBY

This afternoon I finally saw the Great Gatsby. I'm so happy. It wasn't what I was expecting but Leonardo was flawless even dubbed over in Italian. 

And I understood almossssssst everything. Sometimes Nick Carraway spoke in passato remoto - which is a weird verb tense that's only used in literature and film. NEVER conversaionally. Some Italians aren't even sure about this tense, so it's fine.

Italian newspaper about the Cannes film festival

Also Runa gave me a translated version of the book!!!!!!! So now I have something new to read in Italian. Reading is really good for vocabulary and, as my host mom will tell you, vocabulary is the most important part of learning a language. 

Alright that's it for now. Love y'all. Ciao.

I GOT A 9 IN ITALIAN

For the past week I've been studying Neoclassicism and Pre-romanticism for my interrogation today. I read over the texts we were given in class, Googled things for more information, and then took notes in English & Itailan. Next I wrote about one page in Italian comparing//contrasting these two periods with my host mom and German classmates. Then Alice, my tutor, edited. Then I started reading this page over and over again out loud whenever I could: with my religion teacher, during lunch break yesterday, while my host mom cleaned up after dinner... but it still wasn't enough. 

I can't remember the last time I worked this hard on an assignment. It was so challenging. No matter how many times I reread the page, none of the words stuck in my mind. Next I tried memorizing the meaning of the document (in English), hoping that this would help my brain make connections. It didn't. Then Elena made a map/graphic/scheme of the ideas and I reviewed that a lot. I think when it comes to language - which is so auditory - I need something visual to help me. I don't know. Anyway, today I had my interrogation and Prof. Virgili was really happy to see how far I've come with Italian. She couldn't stop beaming. It made the entire process that much more rewarding.

So that's what I've been up to... As of Monday, there are only 4 more weeks of school, which actually sounds like a lot considering that my friends in America are all out & about working on their senior projects.

Tomorrow the Great Gatsby comes out here!!!! So excited. What else.

On Friday I have to give a presentation of the artist August Macke in my German class (in Itailan, don't worry). I haven't even started researching, so I should probably go do that. Yikes. Love y'all. Ciao.

Anastasia in Italian

Any day I go to Elena's house is awesome - but today was by far one of my favorites because we watched ANASTASIA!!!!!!!! Ok. I know I'm a little too old to obsess over an animated movie but I can't help myself. The only three movies I watched as a child were: Babe, Charlotte's Web, and Anastasia. I had a thing for pigs. Anyway. Elena also loves Anastasia and today we finally watched it in Italian.

The entire thing was wonderfully sporadic and unplanned. During the the last hour of school (history, we were taking a test, I got a 7.5!) it started pouring. It was horrible // out of nowhere. On Saturdays Ludovica exits the school at noon so her mom had already picked her up and they were at the grocery store. The plan was for me to take the bus at 1:40. But the moment I stepped out of the building I knew there was no way I could make it home. It was literally raining cats & dogs (btw this expression doesn't exist in Italian, in case you were wondering.)

Sooooo Elena generously called her mom and asked if I could come over for lunch. Ahhhhhh I love her. I love the entire family. They're too kind to me. My shoes were wet so Elena let me borrow slippers. I told you, Italians take their slippers seriously.

oh also we baked a cake

we're very productive

and after she walked me to the bus stop in the rain

and insisted on taking this picture

and then I got my second manicure in four months alone in PSG. .. 

So yeah, I've had a fun day. We're skipping the disco tonight. Instead, my class is having a dinner in the center and then hopefully we can go out if it's not raining. Love y'all. 

OH.

Almost forgot. Happy (almost) Mother's Day to my two moms!!!! Love you both <3

Ascoli

Yesterday was - without exaggeration - the longest day of my life.

School @ 8. Lunch at Elena's @ 1:30 <3 we ate risotto with mushrooms it was delicious. More school until 4:30. Runa's dad picked me up at school and I went to her house for an hour. Then a woman from AFS picked Runa, Risa, and me up and we drove to Ascoli @ around 6:30. We got to Ascoli, ate pizza and gelato. Then the AFS volunteer left us to explore the city until 10:30. We got home at midnight. I couldn't fall asleep until 1:30 and then Ludo accidentally woke me up at 5:30, so needless to say I took a nap after school today... Anyway, here are the pictures!!!!!!!!

Runa's dog - you can't tell by this picture but she's like 100 pounds

gelato - Nutella flavored it was fantastic

the entire place felt so big and ancient and sadly I don't think these pictures do it justice at all

Risa!!!

It wasn't the most picturesque time to be there. It was dark and rainy and therefore wonderfully uncrowded. Only locals were out getting a caffe or walking their dogs. My host dad grew up in Ascoli, so my host mom says we will definitely go back for a day trip soon and I can take better pictures!!!!!