Today my host mom went to speak with my Italian, German, and Art History teachers. She already spoke with my physics teacher (who gave me a great performance review, shout out to Prof Ortenzi), but these teachers weren't so thrilled with me.
None of the three teachers my host mom spoke to today were happy but one comment hurt above all. My German teacher said I show no interest in learning German so she's stopped assigning me work. Up until 2 weeks or so ago, the German teacher allotted 30 minutes at the end of every lesson for me. So, during the lessons I would wait for my 30 minutes by studying Italian. But then she stopped teaching me in the last 30 minutes of the class. I don't know why. Maybe she mistook my fatigue for disinterest. Until about 10 minutes ago I thought it was because she was behind in her lesson plans for the other 5 girls in the class.
My host mom said she doesn't care because I'm attending university in the fall and it doesn't really matter. She said I can do whatever I want. But I'm so disappointed in myself. I want to study. I want to leave a good impression of myself//America behind. I feel like I've let the whole team down.
It's difficult for me to study for many reasons:
A) I came here speaking 0 Italian. This is probably at the root of all the subsequent problems but honestly just imagine being in a classroom and not knowing anything that's going on. It's incredibly frustrating and tiring.
B) I started in the middle of the year.
C) I'm not accustomed to interrogations // the way Italians study // learn.
D) It's difficult for the teachers to assign me homework because they aren't sure what I can do // they weren't prepared for an American student who spoke no Italian.
E) I'm a senior. Junior year killed me and while I did knock the first semester of senior year out of the park it wasn't exactly easy.
F) I'm still adapting to life here~!!!!! Yes, it's better now but ugh.
Ok these are excuses. I need to stop. I still have 6 and a half weeks of school left. I'm going to salvage the situation and try to learn something in German besides the numbers 1-20.
On a positive note, Elena and I went to get handmade gelato today after lunch. It was the best thing I've ever eaten. Ok maybe not ever but definitely in the top 5.
Amore mio
I don't know what I'd do without Elena.
Love y'all. Ciao.
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