I AM HAPPY. LIFE IS WONDERFUL.

NOT TO BE OVERDRAMATIC BUT YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST DAY EVER.

1) It was Saturday.

2) Gym was cancelled.

3) I went to Elena's house for lunch & tried my first Italian lasagna. It was beautiful. Her family is so kind and wonderful to me.

4) Had an epiphany about why I'm not learning Italian, which I'll explain later.*

5) Elena washed, dried, and curled my hair. I love her.

6) After being deferred in the fall from the my first choice school, OXY SAID YES. They love me. And I love them. And we love each other.

7) I went to Ludo's classmates house and had dinner with her classmates. I love them. It was wonderful.

8) THE ACES WON!!!!!!!!! WE'RE THE GREATEST HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL TEAM IN THE WORLD. Or at least in Pennsylvania.

*Ok this - in my opinion - is why I'm not learning Italian.

The first two weeks of my stay, I went from only knowing the words "ciao" and "pizza" to a vocabulary of about 250 words and some very basic grammar. I asked people to speak to me in Italian. I said things like, "che significa" and "come si dice." I had moments where I thought in Italian. I had a few dreams in Italian. Then some bad things happened.

First, I panicked. When blogging or talking to my American friends, I found it difficult to put together thoughts in English. I hated feeling unable to express myself - in my native language, no less. It terrified me. I clung to English in fear, losing some of my motivation to learn Italian.

Secondly, I never thought of myself as patriotic before leaving America. I enjoy July 4th as much as your average bear, but I didn't constantly think about my nationality or country on a daily basis. Leaving the country pushed these thoughts to the front of my mind and I began to feel more patriotic than ever before. I love America. I love Italy, too. But I am American. I can't really explain it beyond that but being here gives me a new sense of pride in my country. Anyway, the reason I mention this is because (and I'm ashamed to admit this) I felt English was superior to Italian.

Besides, everyone around me - my classmates, Ludovica, even teachers - wants to improve their English. In my mind, I began to think and feel horrible things. Why would I ever want to learn another language? English is the best. America is the best. Everyone should speak English. Everyone here wishes they were fluent like me. As soon as I became conscious of these thoughts, I felt disgusted with myself and vowed to change my mindset.

I will not forget English. I may find it difficult sometimes to find the right words or lose my "voice" or style or whatever but it will be ok. When I come home, it will all come back to me. I'm not longer worried.

Next, 60 million people in this world speak Italian and during the next four months I will become one of them. I can do it. It's necessary for my survival here and personal growth. I have to study everyday. I have to struggle with it. But I can't lazily give up by convincing myself it isn't an important language. It's extremely important.

Ok I have to go to Palm Sunday lunch. Love y'all. Ciao.